Empty room

When there is no touch sensation,nothing but a mind which controls the body and its palpatations an ache emerges.. a feeling so raw.I don't feel great. My children are here which help ground me however I shield my crying eyes from their view.Within my walls I feel broken.Friendships etc all around me, people who are beautiful whom I wouldnt trade for the sun, see not this side of me. Inside I feel like an empty room, no excitations, just a complete sombreness without history, it's solitaire. I am alone with my desire lost somewhere.. I cant find my way back. I feel numb.Its so dominating at times that I cant breathe.