Feeling an absence

Finally back at last. This trip has given me room to think and see you in another light. It`s true that we haven't found eachother in a long time, and even though we`ve been down, I still feel a connection beyond words.

Weeks have passed and we didn`t do much talking,however in your writing I`m seeing a different side to you.I don't see the man I know,or at least I thought I knew.Vulnerabilities within the drums of freedom have surfaced.

Being away these past weeks I cast my mind to the many faces I was with,and at the time I remember often being distracted by the vision of you. In the dead of the night,within the cradle of my mind I could feel your hands everywhere all over me and under my skin. And In the hush of the night I can still forgive and want you back to a point we once were, but as the day dawns I'm faced with brighter light and I'm pulled back to reality with the lingering thought of you in the nights passing.

One thing that struck me being physically absent from you, was how easy it had become to pretend.Amongst strangers, I could easily assume the role of single woman with child. But deep within I was only half present.My little girl nowhere to be seen or found. Honesty became such a great challenge, at which I often chose to mask.

I don`t believe I ever lost the feeling but I have been letting everything else build up and all around me like cobwebs protecting the love from the tears in my heart.

There is more.....