A moment of madness

This post was written back on January 9 during a heat wave.I have now decided to publish it

Its currently 36 degrees, and im feeling a little bewildered by the heat. I don`t understand why but my mind constanatly travels to the darkest places. Places where destinies are carved in stone by actions which speak horrid and merciless moments. I look around me at all that I have aquired in material form and I see that it means nothing. I do not have financial difficulties and I do have what I want materialistically speaking. But that what I need and truly want I cant have.
I have been told by my close friend MJ that my thinking is at times insane. I have an inate ability to speak shit and twist words to suit when I am speaking truth. I guess that is a skill I have come to aquire with the shitty destiny of my life.I want nothing but true love, but unfaithfulness is often what I attract. I am often overcome with lust in my silent domain. I have been praying of recent for God to hate me and Troy also the same. I don`t want you to want me...I don`t even want the curse that I am.

I currently look forward to an overseas trip with my beautiful petal of a boy.The one who`s eyes I look into each and every day and am reminded of truth and beauty. The eyes that don`t lie and can`t be shaded.