FEELINGS

Saturday, May 28, 2005

My very close friend .

My friend, (lets name her Elly for the sake of this page) is having a hard time of her marriage of 20 years. She has had an affair which began whilst she went over to China with a collegue and it continued down here for some time afterwards.

I really feel for Elly and will assist her in any way emotionally as I toolack intimacy in my relationship with DH. When we first set eyes on eachother and in the initial years of our marriage we were very intimate...and in love. But as the years got on and particularly when I had my dear son... I guess the husband and I drifted apart somewhat at an emotional level and he suggested we "try" other partners.

At this very crucial moment of our marriage a very harsh rock was thrown and hit me completely shattering a lifetime of belief that "marital unions" meant 'forever together in body and soul.'Well ha ha ha...... how foolish and naive was I ? I didnt argue with him, as he obviously wanted to change these rules and definition. I felt so crushed and angry at him and at his damm timing, with me preganant and expecting our Dear daughter who`s our second child.

I went along with it, and today we are 3 years into this new contract or arrangement. I still adore my DH and think he`s wonderful, however I`m still battling with what we decided on that fateful night...and probably will... until my end.

My one saviour...

Well here I am again. Finding myself in the darkness of the seasons..winter, as the cold sets in.
I really love to go jogging and always do this at night when every things done and needing to relax my mind from the days passing moments and events- all there- almost as pollution not allowing me to breathe.. or function normally. Jogging is my one saviour I can rely on to help me relax unwind and importantly, give clarity to the mind...