Hesitation

I used to think that I knew what I needed...what we needed.I just assumed that we'd always be fine.Every time I wake from sleep I hesitate as I watch you lying there,wanting to touch you but not acting upon it. It's as if it's all a part of me... It tears at my heart.

Sitting here in the light of the late afternoon,sun warming my back,I'm thinking how we've come to far and all this 'distance' is driving us further and further apart. I know it's my fault. You are all I ever wanted but I'm terrified.

Not having been intimate yet since my return is like something sharp pricking my liver.I feel as though I need to dive for your heart. I want you. Your face above me darkening the moonlight. To feel an intensity coming from inside me... like I have died and ascended upwards.