Friend..come back
I believed that I had learnt it all but I have learnt nothing. Is the inside of my brain changing?
I dont want to turn this into any thing huge...but what happened between you and I, was major.I had never experienced something like that ever before...and didn`t think I was even that way inclined.
It began with some Gin...a slow ballad.....and....now I`m lost with what occured...
Will things ever be the same ?
Has the time come for me to say fuck you and leave, then grieve about why it`s come to this ? I don`t want to have the twisted dark thoughts I have..somewhat existant... in every corner of my mind.
Where are you ?
If you are near me would you lay your hand on me again but not the same way...i feel so down and confused. I just want 'you' back my friend.
I dont want to turn this into any thing huge...but what happened between you and I, was major.I had never experienced something like that ever before...and didn`t think I was even that way inclined.
It began with some Gin...a slow ballad.....and....now I`m lost with what occured...
Will things ever be the same ?
Has the time come for me to say fuck you and leave, then grieve about why it`s come to this ? I don`t want to have the twisted dark thoughts I have..somewhat existant... in every corner of my mind.
Where are you ?
If you are near me would you lay your hand on me again but not the same way...i feel so down and confused. I just want 'you' back my friend.
posted by consise10 @ 10:42 PM
16 Comments:
At Sunday, January 29, 2006 6:01:00 AM,
Fred said…
Umm, everything okay?
At Sunday, January 29, 2006 8:38:00 AM,
Iain Dughlais said…
I have no idea what the details are, but this post made me feel sad. :(
Hope everything is going to work out.
At Sunday, January 29, 2006 4:00:00 PM,
consise10 said…
Well... with whats happened,I`m not sure Fred.My friend and I haven`t spoken since.
I actually feel quite 'numb' when I think about it iain...but thankyou for the sentiment.
At Sunday, January 29, 2006 10:54:00 PM,
ange said…
i hope you are ok babe!
thinking of you my blogland buddy...
At Sunday, January 29, 2006 11:01:00 PM,
isay said…
'just dropping by to say hello.
smile though our hearts are aching......
to answer your Q in my site-i have no shop for my artworks-i had a little retail market once in a while but i am hoping in the future, i really can do something about disposing them properly and give them worthy importance.
have a nice day!
At Monday, January 30, 2006 12:04:00 AM,
Autumn Storm said…
Hey - haven't been by in a while, apologies, my blog reading has been neglected.
Just went through what i have missed and from the high, it seems to have been slipping.
Hope things work themselves out for you, though there are never any guarantees in life. I do believe, we make our own happiness though. It may take much hard work, depending on where you are and what's going on in your life, but it is, mostly, a choice.
Best of luck with everything, x
At Monday, January 30, 2006 3:40:00 AM,
charles blunt said…
Consise I wish I knew what to say to make the pain go away .But I guess there are no words that will do that. Well anyway I fell so bad for you and hope things will get better soon .
At Monday, January 30, 2006 6:09:00 PM,
Lisa said…
I thought things had been going better. SO sorry to read that's not the case.
At Monday, January 30, 2006 7:20:00 PM,
Åñèè§å said…
its crazy how someone can make or emotions go off like that...feeling confused and only wantin to hear that person...anyway hope things get better
At Monday, January 30, 2006 9:46:00 PM,
consise10 said…
ange..thanks mate. ;->
isay,thanks for dropping by! :-)
autumn storm thankyou for the wise words and yes you are right it is a 'choice'. :-]
Charles..such heartfelt sentiments Thankyou dearly. ;--)
blueblaze welcome to my space :-]
This post isn`t about Troy. Your words are dramatic and sound like they`re from some one who`s been 'around the bend'. This incident had me quite shocked. The point being that the person in question was and still is a significant part of my life.I just cant cope with the distance it has currently caused between us.
As for Troy...most of what you say is probably true and I know it,but it hurts.I loved your choice of 'adjectives' to describe him..hmmm... I certainly could add more to those ones!!
Thankyou ever so much for your imput and 'concise' comment.I really do appreciate it, and please feel welcomed here again.
Lisa...this is an incident isolated from the rest of what is happening.The job has been quit and the 'trip' is still on...still plenty to look forward to. Thanks for dropping by, I do appreciate it.
Aneesa...that`s exactly how I feel!! Feel welcome again :=)
At Tuesday, January 31, 2006 6:22:00 PM,
Anonymous said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
At Tuesday, January 31, 2006 7:55:00 PM,
consise10 said…
Hi annonymous...Im sorry I had to remove your comments...because as you can tell from the post I don`t want to reveal too much detail here about the exact details of it all. Your comments were very accurate indeed which leaves me wondering where you heard me talking about it..and as for you covering your identity,well darling theres no need...Infact I suggest you go for a nice long ride in that beautiful 'Cobra' of yours. Take care.
At Wednesday, February 01, 2006 8:14:00 AM,
Jeanne said…
Don't worry so much. Whatever happens, trust yourself. I don't think we make decisions when it comes to love.
At Thursday, February 02, 2006 9:32:00 PM,
consise10 said…
Decisions of the heart are the most difficult..thanks for dropping by Jeanne '-)
At Friday, February 03, 2006 9:14:00 AM,
Anonymous said…
some of the Greeks used to say that nothing can be learned, hence no true knowledge can be attained. I'm sure you've learned things, but everything ends up adapting and changing, and of course some knowledge becomes obsolete or erroneous.
I don't know what direction this is going in, but it sounds as if you suffered some sort of loss of control. Are you still with your kids' father? I don't know enough about the situation really, but I ought not pry.
things may not ever be the same, but they will get better, I know that. think about the kids before leaving anywhere, though, as that will likely keep you in check. hopefully your 'friend' will come back, though, and be your φάος. keep it positive. :)
At Friday, February 03, 2006 7:03:00 PM,
consise10 said…
Greyor...you are very wise indeed..thanks for your comments:-)
My friend is my 'fos' and what happened was just a moment in time...come and gone like a thunderstorm. I hope our friendship survives it.
To answer your other question, I am still with my childrens father.
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